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well in just a couple days the republican national convention will be kicking off in new york city.  as you no doubt recall, ed gillespie and the republican war room had their hillarious talking point calling our convention in boston "extreme makeover".  i think they meant that to convey something about us presenting a democratic party in tune with american values and strong on national security, when of course every right-wing-thinking person knows that we're a bunch of librul elitist terrist-appeasing pansies, or something.  i wasn't really paying attention.

but now it's our turn to label them and their convention!  choose from the list of ideas i explain here, or come up with your own.

1. Fear Factor Be afraid! Be very afraid! There's no time to think about the economy and healthcare and education and the direction the country is heading.  Still less to harbor unpatriotic thoughts about the long string of missteps this administration has made on terrorism since January 20, 2001!  Just listen to the Minister of Fear!  And for God's sake don't throw your vote away appeasing the terrorists, because Osama wants you vote for Kerry!

2. Left Behind The true believers gather in the Holy City of Capital.  They rejoice for the day is very near when the faithful few with annual incomes over $200,000 will be taken up into tax shelters and gated communities free from crime and racial impurities.  Meanwhile the rest of America is Left Behind to suffer the tribulation...

3. Extremist Makeover So it's not original, but we're the rubber and you're the glue! Bounces off us and sticks on you!

4. V: The Invasion  Human-looking aliens land on Manhattan Earth with big promises of peace and prosperity and a cleaner environment.  But soon our heroes discover the awful truth - under the masks are ravenous reptilian creatures bent on despoiling our natural resources and gobbling up humanity!

5. Amish in the City  A group of red-state rubes encounter the liberal elitist decadence of the City That Never Sleeps.  Will they return to their 18th century ways or embrace the modern world?

6. The Mod Squad  Republican commissioners search high and low across the nation to find a handful of telegenic moderate Republican politicians for a very special mission.  Schwartzennegger, McCain, um... um... Pataki?  And it looks likes Keyes is right out, so the role of "the black guy" is wide open...

so my fellow kossacks, what's it gonna be?

Originally posted to zeke L on Thu Aug 26, 2004 at 05:34 PM PDT.

Poll

what should we call the RNC?

27%10 votes
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21%8 votes
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5%2 votes
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| 37 votes | Vote | Results

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